// {our tape of love} ♥

This blog shall be closed.

For I have chose for the matter to rest.

Bye.

No point for me to say anything.

When I have no one on/by my side.

Sigh.

I did my best to clarify myself.

I know my conscience.

My conscience is my head voice.

I used my conscience to post my entries.

Believe it or not.

I do not toss my heart's feeling.

the tape ~~mixed~~ at ,
10:59 AM

Well, I'm the kind of person who is straight-forward.
I do not need to hide facts about myself.
I'm disgusted for what Brian did to me.
Spreading and telling his friends, exaggerating facts about me.
Hey, but did you not notice, he chose to do it when I'm getting better.
Did you not notice htat?
I'm getting better but he wants me back to my last time.
He wants me to feel vulnerable, inferior, someone who deserves her own death.
All of you actually believed his every single words.
You all don't know me at all.
I'm not this kind of person when you all get to know me well.
Even Li Ting, Lionel.
I'm devasted.
If he's really nice person, would he do such things?
A good person does not spread untrue stuff about a weak person like me.
Put yourself in my shoes..
You will then know what I mean..
Lionel, you simply know what kind of girl I am.
So why did you choose to beleive in your good friend than to believe in the justice?
I'm not pathetic.
I'm not cheap.
If I am, why the heck I bother to clarify myself so much.
All I need to do is scold you all back.
Hui Min, did not you see Brian trying to sow discord between you and me?
If your gor's really good, you think why would he spam nasty stuff.
If I'm pathetic, I would be the one speading rumours about how Brian's treating me.
But did I?
He's the one being pathetic!
He's trying to gain all of your sympathy.
He wants all of you on his side.
By talking craps about me.
Making the untrue facts juicier.
Believe it or not.
Someday, you will hate yourself when you sees his true colours.
Then, you will land in the same situation as me.
Plus, I never spread about he ask for sex or blah.
Because he did not ask.
And why the hell I want to spread about ex-boyfriend.
It's already past!

the tape ~~mixed~~ at ,
9:49 AM

You like all those dramatic characters, don't you?

Please for goodness sake.

Do not use my tagboard ID.

Isn't approriate.

So please eh.

I don't know how can I say anymore?

To whoever you are.

You are sending me nightmares.

I also find myself crying before I sleep.

I'm so affected by you.

I don't know why is that so.

In the dream, I'm pushed off the towering building.

By a girl with bob hair.

She's like a three-year-old toddler.

Yet she has the ability to push me down.

It's so awful.

So horrid.

I do not act pitiful.

How many time must I say?

MANY TIMES YOU WANT?

It's really hard and tough for me to step in the school.

You may argue, "So silly, eh, girl. Just use your legs walk in la."

This is not the case for me.

I've mental struggle in my head.

I took a lot of effort to attend, even one lesson of mine.

Imagine.

Just imagine.

You are walking to your school.

The nearby amenities, buildings, roads are places that you wanted to attempt suicide before.

There again, you may say, "Just walk la. Who ask you to look?".

I did try not to look.

But I keep realising in my head is jerking back to the suicidal scenes.

It's so dreadful.

Ms Lim and Ms Illyana hauled me back from the busy road.

Even them.

Even them.

I do not know how to face them.

I thought of my past suicidal attempts.

It's terrible.

How can you concentrate in school?

When it's the place you tried to suicide before?

When you failed you overall best subject - HMT.

TELL ME, WHAT SHOULD I DO SO YOU WILL NOT THINK I'M ACTING PITIFUL.

YOU TELL ME.

I'm going berserk, okay?

Class.

My class, please do not think I'm acting pitifiul.

I'm sorry that I burst out in class, dashed out of the class.

I never mean it.

My legs just ran.

My tears just flow.

Yes, I'm a stuck-up in class.

Why?

Not because I'm being proud and all that.

I'm afraid you all will feel my words are offensive.

To whoever you are.

I may be seemed cheerful these few days.

Because I chose to.

I chose to.

I'm making such a tremendous effort to study again.

I appreciate the education I'm receiving.

I, too, hope to excel in my studying.

I do not know what can I say.

I NEVER act pitiful.

HOW MANY TIMES MUST I EMPHASIS?

the tape ~~mixed~~ at ,
9:50 AM

To whoever you are.
If you bear grudges against me.
Just come on me.
Do not drag my class in.
My class may not rock your socks.
This does not mean you have to make your statement that my class sucks in Wei Ai's blog.
Can you stop giving Wei Ai unwanted insults.
You can just pounce on me, I do not care.
I simply do not want her to have this kind of insults shooting straight at her face.
My class has nothing to do with this.
I hope you will remorse.
I, too, will face the music and pay the consequences, for I had scolded you back.

Wei Ai.
I do not want to see all these unnecessary/unwanted pounding
on you.
I'm sorry that I did not stand up for you earlier on.
But now,
I'm taking legal actions.
The bully must have for her consequences, I'm
afraid.
Sigh.

the tape ~~mixed~~ at ,
10:58 PM

Well..

To whoever you are..

I hope you will stop this monkey business in Wei Ai's blog and mine.

I'm merely standing up for her.

As I don't think she deserves all these business you gave her.

She misses Warren as a classmate.

She didn't claimed the title of his girlfriend.

She communicated with him before.

She treat him as friend.

That's why her tears will flow out.

Warren do not bid farewell to her.

But he bid farewell to 2D.

Wei Ai's my bestbest friend.

My eyes can't bear to see you insult her, you know?

Stop your uncilivised words.

You must be relieved that I'm telling you all these.

I don't have the mood to make this clear to you.

Yesterday, my friend's admitted to hospital.

Her name's Joan.

I rushed down to her.

That's simply why I didn't go school.

She's alone.

She called me at past midnight.

Her tone of voice is so different from her original's.

She didn't went home for days.

Having all the conflictions with her family.

You must be really glad that you don't suffer what Joan and I are suffering.

We suffered from depression.

We never once declared what we are suffering.

Not because there's a need to.

Because we do not wish to have sympathy glances at our face.

We wanted to be treated like usual.

Laughing it up all we can.

I've become stronger, braver.

If it's me last time.

I wouldn't even talk against you.

Words of yours should not be torelated.

They insulted Wei Ai's and mine's personalities.

I don't act cute.

'Cause there's a no need to.

I only need best friends like Wei Ai, Xiang Qi and Joan.

I don't act pitiful.

I don't know when I will feel stressed or pressurised.

Which lead to my dramatic happenings in class.

You think I mean everything to be like this?

I do not have a choice.

I just broke with my boyfriend yesterday.

Yet, I can still stand up for Wei Ai.

Tell me, if it's you.

How can you handle so many things in a single day?

Your best friend landed herself in hospital.

Drinking beer, smoking even though she's fifteen.

Given Joan has the look like eighteen when she let her hair down.

I can't do anything much.

I just had to let her be like that.

I want her to feel I'm concerned about her.

My friends know what kind of person I am.

I cherish everyone.

Even my enemies.

You know what?

There's once in primary five.

One particular girl disliked me.

I cried in front of Xiang Qi and Wei Ai.

Stammering those words..

How could anyone hate me?

I do not hate anyone at all.

I values all of them even not my friend.

In the end, that particular girl is impressed by my sincere.

She does not have the hatred on me.

I and her are friends.

Not close buddies.

Just friends.

It's great thing.

I have one girl bullying me when I'm primary three.

She's smaller than me one month.

But she have the victory.

Due to the form teacher's ignorance.

I'd suffered.

Two years after, she let her conscience take the lead.

She came to me, apologising.

Saying she suddenly know how I felt that time.

The unbearable pains of crawling under her legs.

Twisting of my skimpy hands.

Pasting of insulting words on my back.

However, I tolerate, I tolerate.

I know she did not feel at all sastify at what she's doing.

She just did it.

Be the bully.

Whilst I'm the victim.

I hope you understand.

I do not hold it against you.

Only your words pouncing on Wei Ai and Me.

I have alterations on my wordings because I felt sometimes it's good to edit some stuff.

It gives you enlightment.

Hey, didn't you use alterations on your words too?

Like "LOL", "muaii", "tdhe", "eu", "rites".

Dare to say you do not use them.

Your taggings.

Go through over them.

Either you apologise to Wei Ai or me personally.

Or I can not promise you that you will be away, scot-free.

the tape ~~mixed~~ at ,
12:54 PM

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Happy Birthday, Gabriel Kor ~

the tape ~~mixed~~ at ,
7:33 PM

me & wei ai's legs !

my turtle bec0me man t0u !

xD .

iie b0ught dis PMK stripe at plaza sing .

^^ .

22.9o dollars .

quite 0kae .

sh0uld be new arrival .

chi0 rights ?

LALA`s !

:D .

B0ught : Today ; o3.31 pm .

W0re : Straight away .

Ba0Bei (s) seen dis chi0 thingie : Wei Ai .

LAWLs !!

F&N bus leh !

LOL .

unique seaters .

see bef0re mahx ?

iie see dis when im headinq ti0ng t0 find Wei Ai .

iie miss miss her larhx !

can drink juices !

"0ne cup 0f mang0 juice pls ! xie xie `` :] . "

green chair reserved f0r 0nli me !

YAY !

xD .

in a bus .

number 5 !

try uur luck t0 take dis bus .

shi0k larhx !

the tape ~~mixed~~ at ,
11:59 PM